Guest blog post: While my husband Brett was on the cruise last week, he wrote me a love letter which I wanted to share in my blog. Right now, there is a lot of attention on me due to the circumstances and although my hubby is not the main focus, he is going through a difficult time as well. Everyday he is taking care of all of the business at home, commuting a long distance to see me, and dealing with his own sense of loneliness. Being on hospital bed rest not only alters the lives of pregnant moms in this situation, but their husbands as well. Dear Sweety Cat,
It has been since Saturday night, New Year's Eve since we last spoke. You were the last person I called before I shut my phone off, leaving me with no access to the rest of the world - and I have to say - its been really nice. We need to cut ourselves off sometimes from it all and just recharge. This is what I have needed from all that we have been going through. As I type this on my iPad 2, I can't help but be reminded of Aunt Betty's book, where Ira wrote love letters to Betty during the time before they were married, while living in separate parts of the country. What a time. Totally disconnected, with the primary form of communication being writing letters to one another.
Here we are, over 50 years later, and in a similar situation. Disconnected. I think about you probably every few minutes, if not more. I think about how wonderful you are, how sweet, loving, caring, affectionate, patient, understanding, strong, I could go on and on... From the day we first met up until a few days ago, I think we spoke at least everyday. Even on my trips abroad, we always spoke. This is an odd feeling being disconnected from you since I have absolutely no cell phone reception at sea. Especially at a time when I want to know everything that is going on in your life. How are the Ziggies? How big are they? How were their heart beats this morning? Which nurse do you have today? How was meeting the girls and their husbands on New Year's Eve? What did you do? I am sad I missed the first meetup of your crew, but I hope you plan more so I can meet them next time. Knowing you, you will.
I just think the world of you and what you are going through right now. I can't be more inspired and impressed with what a strong person you've become through all this. It must be incredibly difficult and isolating to be stuck in that bed - day after day - but the time will pass quickly. As we say, "its just a blip." You're smart to be writing a lot in your blog. This is a life event that you'll look back on and will be so happy you have the time documented to remind you of what life was like for four months before our kids were born. I'm also so proud of you for setting up the private Facebook group to communicate with the other girls on bed rest.
How sad is it that in our last four months together as a married couple before our babies arrive, we have to be separated? I know it's all for the better and a higher power is helping us out. Of course we did have over eleven years together to selfishly do as we wanted, whenever we wanted. We were so silly to assume that we'd get to have these last four months completely to ourselves. But these four months will be an adventure! I'm actually very excited about it. However, it's hard to go from living apart for the first six years of our relationship, to living together for the next five years, to going back to the way it used to be. Remember when you lived in West Hills and I in Westchester, and we were 40 minutes apart? Now with you in Santa Monica, it's about the same distance to Agoura Hills.
I have my new weekly routine all planned out in my head. You know what happens when you try to plan, right? In between work, off-season Triathlon training, and visiting you, I'll finish purging and rearranging the apartment, set up the nursery, and fall asleep on the couch each night watching episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" on TBS since you won't be there to cuddle and fall asleep with. Good thing we have four loving kitties that are looking after me, especially Mixie and Milo. I've never had such a big bachelor pad before, and two cars to drive.
But, imagine, after four long months, the excitement of you coming home with our babies. Suddenly I'll have three roommates; a family! One of the best times in my life were the months leading up to when we moved in together. That was January - March of 2006. I had two jobs, was working long hours, and saving up money for the furnishings of our brand new, high-end, luxury, 1-bedroom apartment home in Playa Vista adjacent. That was a fun time! Then on March 26th, I drove out to West Hills with a U-Haul to scoop you and your possessions up to live in sin. The nurses at The BirthPlace say you'll need a U-Haul when you leave. Ha ha.
I'm so excited for the future. This was all very scary and shocking on December 21st, but you and I are in a completely different head space right now. We are both so strong, driven, determined, and independent. I am very confident we well pull through this like pros. We always do. We are an amazing pair. We are so lucky and blessed to have one another. Who would have thought that almost twelve years later we'd be here? Izzy's Deli, across the street from the hospital is where we went the night we first met. And just up the street on 16th and Washington is where I grew up. Santa Monica is so familiar and nostalgic for me every time I come back so I am glad you are where you are because it makes it that much more fun to visit you.
As you always say, "there will always be others who have it worse off than we do." So considering that, we are very lucky! I can't wait to finally see you and speak to you again on Saturday. Until then my love.
With everlasting love,
*The song "Elaborate Lives" is from the 2000 Broadway musical Aida with music by Elton John and Tim Rice. This song reminded me of Brett's love letter because in the show, the two main characters, Aida and Radames, are powerfully singing about their love yet they are forbidden to be together due to circumstances out of their control. They wish that things could just be simple but they have to face a huge sacrifice in order to follow their hearts. Luckily, our sacrifice is not as dramatic and very temporary but while we are in the midst of it, there are a lot of emotional feelings to deal with. Not only do we miss our usual lives together as a married couple, but there is a lot of concern for the health of our babies which is the number one priority. Brett and I continue to focus on the twins and are counting the days until we can all be together at home as a family!